Do not let the beautiful blossoms and Claritin commercials lull you into a false sense of security, for though spring has technically arrived, it will never be here. Indeed, it will be cold forever and you will never be happy, for starting this weekend temperatures will dip into the 40s, and IT MIGHT EVEN SNOW. Go to hell Karma, you cruel, cruel bitch.
The good news is, this week will be tolerable, with a high of around 54 today and a high of around 53 tomorrow. Thursday is a great day to call out sick, since it's expected to be about 70 degrees. It'll rain on Friday, though temperatures will hover in the 60s. Saturday will be the last nice day for a bit, so enjoy it while you can and try not to commit any murders if you happen to be trapped inside blogging all day.
AND THEN.
ENTER SUNDAY, A DAY OF PAIN AND SUFFERING.
The Post reports that "temps will struggle to top 40 degrees, thanks to a polar vortex moving into Canada that will push cold air into the Northeast." Indeed, "a brief wet snow is possible Sunday evening." It's true that it did not snow much this winter, and in fact March will close out about 7 degrees warmer on average than usual, but this lousy Smarch weather is still miserable enough to inspire you to move to Los Angeles like all those happy people on television. Well, maybe they're not so happy, BUT AT LEAST THEY HAVE AVOCADOS.
Accuweather then shows highs in the mid-to-high 40s on Monday and Tuesday before FINALLY hitting 60 on Friday, but I will have been committed to an asylum by then, so no matter.
Well, at least it'll be warm one day.
