Remember when Brooklyn was a fetid nightmare of hookers and woe? Mildred Furiya does, because when she bought her four-story townhouse on State Street near Brooklyn Heights in 1967 for $16K "the block was a hangout for vagrants and a boarding house across the street was home to a group of prostitutes." Now it's home to a slew of coffeeshops, parents pushing fancy strollers and the all-important seal of gentrification: Dallas BBQ. Now, the 89-year-old Furiya is getting out of dodge and selling their home for a cool $1.895 million. As the Post reports, that's an 11,744 percent profit! Goodbye, residents-who-keep-neighborhoods-interesting!

Furiya and her family came to Brooklyn after fleeing their tiny walkup in Greenwich Village because Brooklyn "is where we wanted to be. I guess it took people who didn't grow up in Brooklyn to see its true value and potential. We knew it would evolve." New townhouses on the block currently sell for more than $2 million now, but Furiya and her husband did lots of work on their home to make it more livable (and sellable), like "turning a garbage-strewn backyard into a magnificent garden."

Though she doesn't know where she's moving, she does know that she'll miss her backyard the most. May we suggest the Trump Tower on Columbus Circle? There's lovely views of Central Park, and a one-bedroom apartment that's depressingly smaller than your old house is only $1.3 million!